Tips to Become a Perfect Indian Bike Rider

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25 tips to become a perfect Indian bike rider are as follows. Note down each and every point very carefully. 

1. Do not go in a single lane. Go like a snake and keep changing lanes.




  2. Blow your horn only when you wait at a red signal to irritate the rider before you.


3. If you see Yellow signal rush fast without bothering of others before the signal turns red.




4. If you see red signal, look left and right, or in the tea shops nearby if traffic police is available. If yes wait until he turns his head to other side, start moving slowly without his knowledge. If police is not there, keep moving without bothering of the signal.




5. Place your helmets over the petrol tank if you are single. or on your kid's head in case you have one. You must never wear it.



6. In case you go with your girlfriend place the helmet over her head. Helmets are meant to make lovers escape from mummy's broomstick and daddy's belt.


7. Align your mirror in such a way that you can view your beautiful face and keep admiring it ( ennaipar yogam varum ).






8. If you are not interested or bored looking at your face align it in such a way to sight the girl / boy who drives behind u. 



9. Park vehicles on the road and make 50 feet road to 10 feet




10. Use no entry / one way regularly unless caught by police. Even if caught tell him you reside in that street and there is no other way to reach your home except that street.

 


11. Show your friendship only on roads by driving in parallel and chatting.



12. Do not service your bike unless it is almost in a stage of admitting it in ICU and when sold you can receive only dates.




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13. Show your passion for music by listening music while driving. Keep the volume so high so that you don't hear if someone honks at you. 



14. Blame poor India for its traffic.


15. Use headlights only during day time.



16. Indicators are devices that makes you Gajini. Either you forget to use or you forget to switch it off unless insisted by someone.




17. Wear your handbags while driving to show you are cautious and stylish. Its also easy for the bag snatchers. 

18. Get driving licence by bribing. And learn driving after you receive your license.




19. Do not kick start unless you don't have a self starter.


20.  Make your shall fly in the air. Do not knot it.




21. Get a vehicle that looks classy and stylish no mater if you are not comfortable with it. Pride should win over your personal comforts.


22. Use footpath in case of heavy traffic.


23. If footpath drive is not suitable due to open manholes use the right side of the road ( wrong side drive )



24. Never care about the pedestrains, at signal it is mandatory to stand on the zeebra crossing.




25. Splash the water over the pedestrians. You need not worry what if there is no water on the roads. If its rainy season you can find water in almost all streets. If its not rainy still you can find water pumped out of the drainage. No mater about the source, your only target should be to wet the pedestrians from top to bottom.




Hurrray...! Now you have become a perfect Chennai Bike Rider. People who want to become a perfect Chennai Car Driver may also follow these tips. Keep in touch with me for few more additional tips that are yet to be penned down.


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Raja
AUTHOR
May 06, 2014 1:05 am delete

Great Post Gayu.. Good one made to laugh like anything though it's Truth!!

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